...also known as "Into The Vortex Go The Angry Dinosaurs with Poop Flute Sticks!"
Writes Orion:
A long, long, long, long, long time ago, when the Triceratops and the T. Rex got into a giant War, everything went MAD! The T. Rex started by farting at some of the Triceratops. Right in their faces. Then, the Triceratops rammed the T. Rex butts with their horns. The T. Rex retaliated by pooping on the Triceratops. They were mad! So, the Triceratops did the greatest thing that they could think of. All they needed to do was to find a way to build a Time Machine out of sticks, rocks, and crystals!
First, the Triceratops found a Crystal, then the sticks, then they placed them into the Rocks they found, and the Crystals fit into the little slots as perfect buttons. They went further back in time to the Prehistoric 70’s and when they couldn’t find Disco Triceratops there, they turned their heads and saw him behind a Rock, getting some food. They went up to him and said “Hi!”
Disco Triceratops got so startled that he smashed that Rock. Then, they brought Disco T to the Time Machine. Disco T game them one warning, “I get time sick.” So, they went ahead into the Future, back to the ordinary prehistoric time and along the way, Disco T did start throwing up.
When they finally emerged, the T. Rex multiplied and put sticks near their butts, and shot poop sticks at the Triceratops. Disco T also had stinky armpits and he opened one of them wide and in one blast of armpit air, two of the T. Rex’s died. The other T. Rex’s built their own Time Machine, went backwards, and got their own Disco Dancing T. Rex!
When they returned, Disco T. was ready with both armpits held high in the air. When Disco T. Rex and the others got out of the Machine, the Disco Triceratops blasted away at them. Then, Disco T. Rex pulled up a Rock Disco Ball, reflected it, and it killed two Trees.
Then it hit the Sun and made it nighttime. The weird thing was that when Disco T. said “Whoa! How did the Sun and the Moon switch so fast??”
Disco T. Rex started shooting the nastiest farts in town and he killed two Triceratops, then stuck one stick nearby, and played the flute through the stick with his farts. A tree then fell on top of Disco T. Rex and that was the end of him.
All the other T. Rex’s and Triceratops got so upset, that they all started a giant Fart War and it created a Vortex and sucked everything inside.
The End.
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a mule?
A mule is an animal with long funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a pig?
A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a pig
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a fish?
A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
He can't write his name or read a book
To fool the people is his only thought
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish
A new kind of jumped-up slippery fish
And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
Every day you meet quite a few
So you see it's all up to you
You can be better than you are
You could be swingin' on a star!
---Jimmy Van Heusen & Johnny Burke
1944 "Swinging On A Star"
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