Sons To The Father

photo: "Fathers" by Timelord, UK

"To be a father to the son, you have to be a son to the Father."

Annie read that quote somewhere, tucked in between an oyster or two, shining in pearly wisdom. Not sure if that was an "original" Little Dynamo quote, but it sounds like one.

On this Father's Day, we remember our own fathers. Good, bad, indifferent. Annie remembers and thanks those men (uncles, friends)who have stepped up to the batter's mound and pinched hit during the rough moments for her children. Moments and days and years wherein their earthly father wanders lost in purpose and battles tenacious demons of self. Annie remembers and thanks the heavenly Father, who has seen us through fragile and tentative steps to maturity in following His will. It is surely the narrow road so described. And good heavens, do we ever stumble. Following are some excerpts from men (not all fathers) who have written what Annie considers timeless, heartfelt, passionate works. Their words and wisdom have given courage to go forth to the best of my ability in so many moments of doubt. Countless moments. Thank you.

Big Frank - My dad: "Take two and hit the right."

From "Thanksgiving Fathers" November 10, 2005 - Da Black Whole (on the unselfish Dad who molded and shaped his essence)

"... i recall after one game, he said that he didn't mind taking time from weekend chores, the day would come when i wouldn't want him aroundi told him that wouldn't happen, but of course it did, too soonanyway, my dad was a tremendous giver, very involved in community activities, especially athletics -- mowing the little league field, coaching a grammar-school boys team, umpiring as volunteer before certain smart-ass, ungrateful parents who contributed nothing but fouled air at the gamesi grew up during the fifties in Vallejo, a working-class shipyard town -- a pretty wild and tough place, but held together by solid local men ..."

"....what's different now is the realization of how HARD my father, mother, and other community members worked so i could have those shining (lol) moments of boyhood glory -- instants that sustain an old manit was still a good time to be male in America, and a core of men -- not all of them fathers, by the way -- carried the dreams of the children on their backs, gladly, without coercion, and usually without pay..."

"....one year i was upset at not making the all-star team, my dad sat me down and explained that although i deserved to be on the team, the decision was made instead to include some boys in the last year of age-eligibility, and that i'd have my chance next year. Of course i told him it was unfair and sulked, and of course once again he and the coaches were right: merit must be served, but not adored -- and it was wiser, in this instance, to make another boy's dream come true, and save mine for its time. Wiser indeed . . . not some massive intellectual leap necessary amongst these men, to make the community work, to make the nation work . . . mostly just a sense of general goodwill, faith in the future (often involving church, but not always) and a love of life and the children under their charge. Of course they had all the imperfections folks of any age and place are subject to -- but these foibles were not yet seen by society as potential weaknesses to exploit for monetary, political, or personal power..."

From a May 21, 2006 essay on the Unspirit of America:

".... If I had sons, I'd tell them that though their father was a weak man, a stupid man, and a deceived man, he was not a malicious man. Even in failure, he loved his country, and his planet. I'd tell them that their grandfather, and his father before him, were TRULY great men, and that it is in their genes -- and, I believe, in their destiny -- to be great men also."

"....If I had sons, I'd warn them against the wickedness and snares of the Unspirit. And I'd promise them that all is not yet lost, neither their fallen nation, nor their dying world. I'd reiterate my absolute belief in them, and in the power of forgiveness, power of mercy, power of love."

"Be not deceived, my sons: there is neither profit nor honor in hate."

You can read the whole essay here: Da Black Whole

"The Prodigal Father" by Mark Bryan

The Prodigal Father began as a conversation on a train in 1988. I was traveling on Amtrak from Chicago to Virginia to be reunited with my son Scott, whom I had not seen since he was four years old. During the day-long trip, I sat beside William Velez, a sociology professor from the University of Wisconsin. As we talked about our families, my early life with my son, my excitement about our reunion after 14 years, and the state of America in general, Professor Velez said the statistics that social scientists were seeing regarding fatherless children were "extremely alarming." Much worse than anyone had feared.

Just as in the story of the Prodigal Son, this return home is not always easy. In the biblical tale, the Prodigal Son and welcoming father must deal with the anger and resentment of the eldest son who has stayed behind and toiled beside his father...

Those who have been left behind in our modern-day single-parent homes often harbor just such well-earned resentments against the absent parent. Their understandably bitter feelings often undermine efforts at reunion. Consequently, this book is also directed toward the former mates and children, grown or not, of these fathers, who seek understanding and healing with these men. It offers an explanation that will help to heal the feelings of abandonment.
For instance, many mothers and children who have been left assume they have not been missed. I have yet to work with an absent father who does not often think of his children, or their mother. Simply by correcting this misconception for women and children, it has been my experience that years of heartache can begin to be eased.

The war of the sexes is over and we all lost. Swept up in the battle of "who's right" and "who's wrong," mothers and fathers have stopped focusing on the most important part of the family, the children. Nothing has been solved by playing "the blame game." As our divorce rates have soared, unacknowledged emotional pain has left the majority of our children fatherless. This fatherlessness causes major disturbances in the lives of children, and they lose BOTH parents because of it.

You can read the full excerpts here: FATHER PROJECT

Uncle Bill - my brother: "Orion? Ask your Mom if it will be okay if I send the 50-lb box assortment of candy and bubblegum with the drum and kazoo set?" :o)

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that had been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. John 1:1-5